Living
the Dream
What is the dream? Obviously everyone has a unique dream life, so I can only
address this issue from my point of view. Jim and I lived the dream. We spent
twenty years in Hawaii. Most people dream of a week there. For the first ten
years in Kona we were happy at our jobs, which were also a dream. Diving and
driving boats, watching whales and sailing around the islands sounds very
romantic, and it is! We worked hard and played hard. Then we decided we were
supposed to grow up and get real jobs. Our jobs were real, so I don’t know what
confused us so much. I guess it was turning forty. We felt we had not met the
anticipated family requirements of adulthood and responsibility. So we took
indoor jobs. So much for living the dream in Hawaii. We stopped driving around
the island after our numerous visitors’ tours. We stopped going to the beach
and we burned out on boat jobs. Eventually we found it difficult to make it out
to a friend’s house for dinner, we became such home bodies. We were no longer
the professional partiers we were so proud to have been.
Once Jim became ill, Hawaii became our nightmare and not our dream. We had our
circle of family and friends and overwhelming support from all of them, but the
lack of medical care and the ever-increasing cost of living there made it all a
giant stressor. And the air. The air was my worst nightmare. I felt better
living in Mexico City where the toxic air is infamous, than I did in Kona where
the government insists there are no negative effects from breathing heavy
metals and sulfur dioxide fumes.
After Jim passed away, I could no longer face my job. Frankly I could not even
face the supermarket, because Jim had so much trouble eating his last year. I
also felt like the leftover half of “Jim and Lin” and it left me empty inside.
So I created a new dream. It took a while, but I am persistent and I am a
survivor.
Now I am living in Mérida in the Yucatán Peninsula of México. I have always
loved México, especially this area. I know it is a big dirty city of a million
people. But it is the cleanest city in México! And it is relatively safe. These
people have their own form of aloha spirit, which I feel is more alive and
evident than what I felt when I was falling from grace in Hawaii.
I own my house. For the first time in my life I am neither paying rent nor a
mortgage. This is a freedom I never expected to realize. My utilities and other
monthly costs are a slight fraction of my former life in Hawaii. Today I feel I
am not only living the dream, but living a life of luxury. I looked up luxury
in the dictionary. According to the American Heritage Dictionary, luxury is
“Something that is not essential but is conducive to pleasure and comfort.”
To give you an idea of what luxury is to me, let me describe a typical day in
our lives. Last night I was sound asleep in the hammock, and when I woke up
Buster was proudly sitting on my lap. This was his first attempt at hammock
relaxation. He seemed so proud of himself for getting up there and surprising
me. I look like I am half asleep in the photo, but Buster looks so content.
This made me happy. This morning our momma kitty, Moka, woke me up at 5am to
get my attention. She then brought little Busmo out for his first meal of
Whiskas morsels. I brought the other kitties. Today is their one month
birthday. First solid food and first time out of the box to romp and play. Wow!
How fun it is to watch them grow. When their little bodies twitch in their
sleep, are they growing?
After the morning feeding and playtime, the folks arrived for aquatic
exercises. Before I lived here I was unable to force myself to get any
exercise. Now I have a swimming pool. It is not the largest or most impressive
swimming pool around (it is the ONLY one!), but it is a huge luxury that I have
always had a desire to have. I felt if I had a pool I would use it. Minimally I
exercise five days a week at 8am for an hour. At this time of year it is
extremely hot and humid in Mérida. After I work up a sweat during the day, say
walking to the corner store, for example, I jump into the pool and cool down,
usually swimming or jumping around for a while. With the swim school in
operation, several people enjoy the swimming pool every day. Pablo and I have
also been known to put on some Chico Che music and dance in the pool at
midnight. The pool has already provided plenty of joy for us, our friends and
students. There is no better way to cool off or lower the body temperature than
hanging out in the shady area of the piscina for a while. Ok, so the toddlers
pee in the pool and we have to clean it once or twice a week….totally emptying
and refilling it. Luckily the water comes from a well on the property, so the
utility bills do not rise and fall according to urine levels.
Some kinds of work are very rewarding. Teaching a skill to a person is one of
them. Teaching scuba diving has been my favorite employment during my adult
life to date. I am getting emotional sitting here trying to figure out how to
describe the gratification an instructor can feel upon completion of swim/dive
lessons and open water experiences with students. Seeing someone overcome a
fear or become comfortable in a whole new environment is the reward in itself.
I was elated to see Pablo so thrilled after scuba diving for the first time in
April, and I see him jubilant when his students learn to swim and have fun in
the process. The joy is apparent on his smiling face, and on the faces of the
kids, their families, and watching this daily makes me happy.
We have a housekeeper. Her name is Pilar. She showed up at the door almost a
year ago looking for work. I was under construction and not ready. This year,
with all the traffic involved with operating a school six days a week, and me
trying desperately to write and having trouble sitting down long enough to
concentrate, Pilar is a godsend. She makes us fresh fruit juice in the morning
and cooks up a nice lunch, with fresh salsa and tortillas. She cleans the
house, does laundry, irons, you name it. She is great. I hope we can continue
to earn enough to afford this particular luxury, as it is new adventure for
both of us. We are actually eating correctly, and I am sitting down to work on
a regular basis.
Pablo. He is a miracle, a dream, AND a luxury. We did not intend to get
involved like we have; it just happened and now it has grown. He has lots of
talent and good energy. We work, we play, we laugh, we dance; we really have a
lot of fun together. He happens to be young and gorgeous, and he treats me like
a princess. He makes me happy. Very happy! He helps me maintain my youthful
outlook on life! Not everyone approves of us, but we are the ones who have to
live with ourselves, and we love being together. I have found a soul mate.
Finding one true partner in life is a miracle, I don’t know if there is a word
for how lucky I am to have found a second one.
We do not live extravagantly here on 75th street. We entertain ourselves mostly
at home when we are not both working. We enjoy playing Risk and other table
games. We do not always turn on the TV and usually we watch the Addams Family,
Latin American Idol or American Football. We go out to our favorite club where
Pablo plays his tambor. It is an odd little place, but drinks are cheap and
there is usually good live music. We are trying to make it to a baseball game,
the ice rink, the movies, etc, but usually end up at Casa de Todos. On our day
off we visit ruins and cenotes, or head to the beach for some fresher air and
the sea breeze. And of course to eat fresh conch ceviche and whole fried fish!
This is livin’ the dream for me. It may not last forever, but what does? Should
we not allow ourselves some time in this short life to live our dreams?